I have SO much going on in my head that I've just got to write about it to get it out. It's driving me nuts.
This 'season' in life... feels like a transition season. For what? Who knows.
After high school, life jumped at me pretty quick. I moved states away from everything I'd ever known to do the most intense thing I've ever done in my life. That year changed me and re-birthed long lost dreams. After moving back home, I was married within a year and then moved states away, once again, to attend a bible college for a year, studying worship & technical arts. When that year was over, we moved back home where within a few months, I had a baby. A year and a half after that, another baby :) I grew up pretty quick in these past few years I think. During this time of establishing a family, the desires and dreams I once had (as far as ministry goes), were gone. My focus was directed so much on family. And this is not at all a bad thing. I LOVE my family, I love the family life. I wouldn't trade it. But now as things settle, those dreams and desires are stirring back up again. And not just in me, but my husband too. And I can't help but think that God is doing something. Preparing us for something.
And while I have that to think about, I'm thinking about the million other things that life throws at me, and things that I want to do such as:
Moving the playroom upstairs into the office, Finish Ellie's room, start homeschooling Ellie & doing more activities with her, meal planning, decorating the house, cleaning my house, my relationship with God, thinking about missions and ministry...
And another thing my husband and I are starting to seriously consider. Moving out of this house in a year or so and moving into an RV. Yep, an RV. Doing so, we could travel and would want to do it with the purpose of being free and available to do the work of the Lord. I don't want to fast forward 10 years from now and see us doing the same thing we are now. I've read about several families who live full time in their RV's, travelling the states and other countries and the more I read about it, the more convincing it becomes. So this another thing to lift up to the Lord in prayer and trust that He will direct our every step.
Ultimately, I'm finding a battle of the wills, one to live a radical life for Jesus, and one that likes the idea of the 'American Dream'. But I know what I desire more and really, what's more important.
I guess I'll leave it at that. Jesus, lead me, guide me, let me be in step with Your will.
Shannon,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if my other email got to you, but I found your blog and wanted to make sure you got a response. I just copied and pasted this message on here so you'd get it!
Shannon,
Thanks so much for your message. I am so glad that you wrote! When I found out Lincoln had a nasal tip hemangioma, it was really scary. I think it can be helpful and supportive to connect with other mothers in the same situation!
There was a post in June my husband made with pictures (or you can just look through older posts of our blog) that shows how bad his nasal tip deep hemangioma got. It grew so rapidly when he was 7 weeks old until we started the medicine. We started him on propranolol when he was almost 4 months old. Within days we noticed the hemangioma get lighter and smaller. The most dramatic results occured within the first 4 or 5 months of using the medicine. It has been INCREDIBLE and very encouraging. Our pediatric dermatologist, Anita Haggstrom in Indianapolis, says they don't know why this medicine works, but it often does. (depending on when you start it and the type of hemangioma). I guess the medicine somehow causes less blood flow to the hemangioma and those blood vessels so they can't thrive any longer and go away. To answer your question, The skin on his nose is not loose at all. However, it now feels like bread dough and is so soft. The hemangioma has turned into a fatty tissue. Last week our doctor decided to nearly half his dose and hopefully his hemangioma is out of the rapid growth stage so it won't grow back at all. If it does, we will just go back on the medicine.
Apparently propranolol has been used for a long time and is very safe. Side effects are low blood pressure, heart rate, lethargy, and low blood sugar. We have to make sure Lincoln eats every 5 hours to make sure his blood sugar doesn't get too low. It's not a huge deal. We just wake up every night at 2 am to give him propranolol mixed in with some formula. We haven't experienced any side effects, but doctors have to warn you, of course. My son's pediatric dermatologist wanted to be very proactive about this type of hemangioma because it was on his nasal tip and because this type can grow so aggressively. She observed that sometimes they start growing again when a child is about one year old. She also told us that sometimes the cartilage on a nasal tip can actually split if the hemangioma grows big enough, and later plastic surgery may be needed.
Anyway, hopefully this information is helpful for you or gives you any hope or comfort. I highly recommend this route because it truly has been a miracle to see the results for us. We also saw so much improvement likely because we started the medicine so early. I asked this doctor a couple of months ago if propranolol is always this effective for all patirents. She said it often is, but sometimes if propranolol is started later, like when a child is 10 months old or so, it is not as effective.
Good luck with your decision with which route to go. Please feel free to email me anytime.
Annalisa